| Spiderman
batman
superman
ironman
aquaman
megaman
need i go on?
it's fairly obvious, even to the likes of you, unwashed villagers!
it's a jewish comspiracy to take over the world by gaining a monopoly on superheroes!!!!!
first the banks, then the media, now this!
Shabbat Shalom, mother suckers
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| I wish i had an awesome story to write
nothing cool ever happens to me
oh yeah
some honger girl fainted today outside of aberdeen
and i helped her friends evacuate her to the sidewalk
does that make me a "hero"? Yeah, i guess it does.
well here is the real story, guys and dolls.
today, as my parents and i were headed to "Ho Garden Restaurant" or whatever, we stopped at an intersection
at the intersection, we saw a girl crying as if her boyfriend cheated on her with an angry rhinoceros. She had a guy and a girl with her. She collapses on the sidewalk crying, but all of a sudden, she faints!
All i could think of when she was crying so hard was, "shit, she's going to faint"
Turns out i'm a psychic!
then, both her friends freak out... and i mean, Freak the hell out
the girl takes out her cell phone and does the "clamshell flip open-flip close" dance
looked like she wsa playing the castenets
you may not know what this dance is, but i shall explain
have you ever wanted to call someone, but had a fear of doing so? you have an internal battle and that battle comes out in your actions.
this girl was like, "oh shit should i call 911? oh shit i don't think i can speak properly at this point in time! but she might be dying! Nah she'll be fine!"
it would have been funny if the next thing didn't happen...
the guy, freaks out even mroe than the girl
he grabs the girl, screams "Let's get back to the car!!!" in canto
trying to lift her, but her relaxed muscles slip from his shaky grasp!
somehow, he's able to grasp ahold of her, and he tries to run ACROSS THE FREAKIN STREET without even looking both ways. He's running, and because he's nearly the same size as the fainted chick, he ends up "sidewalk slamming" her into the median
So at this point, after watching this go down from the car for the last 15 seconds, i get out of the car and run and pick up the girl to get her (probably) concussed ass to safety
damn she was kinda heavy
here's some advice in case your friend faints, everyone
just elevate her head, make sure she doesn't choke on her own vomit and most importantly, just call 9-11
trying to drag your friend across a busy street is dangerous
especially if you intend to powerslam her in the process
i'm feeling pretty guilty too
i didn't stay to tell them this piece of information i learned from "the discovery channel"
but at the time, i couldn't think of it
hopefully, the panicked guy didn't get her in the car, raced to the hospital as was his original plan, and had a serious accident
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| this is me:
3=======>
this is bill clinton:
O
[][][][][][][][][]({})3
O
this is everyone else:
3=>
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| Wowza!
Three years anniversary already!
It's been fun and hopefully more to come
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